Take Your Time, I Will Wait - A poem

The moments of clarity

the moments of loss

Which one is real?

The one happening now?

Now? Now? Now?

I am lost in this space

of not knowing and

having glimpses of knowing.

Like the moment u begin to cry in joy.

It's the knowing that at

some fraction of a second

you knew

And that moment is gone.

The truth is lost

but the memory remains

Memory is a lie

Memory is tainted

by feeling and desire

The desire to

recreate what happened

to hold on to what has been

This desire consumes

my happiness

in the knowing

And now, the knowing

which in that moment

brought happiness only brings misery

For it feels lost. All gone

Where am I now?

Here? Now? Nothing?

Ever the same

ever the unknown

Ever something new yet ever me

I wonder, is it the

limit of my senses

to not grasp the vastness of my being?

Or the limit of my mind

to not let go

look for a unison in me?

What is lost when there is novelty?

What is worth keeping?

This mind seems to keep it all

My heart with him

In his deep samadhi

but who am I?

And now, I am back to thinking

how silly this whole conversation is,

of how there is this life I need to get back to

of how I should sleep

so I can catch up on what matters

and of how I need to hold on to this epiphany

This moment.

This moment.

Now! Now! Now!

Brings so much happiness

but tomorrow I will think about it

and be miserable.

- Vachi Chhabria